First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
