can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
