We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
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They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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