How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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