dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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