this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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