Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
