idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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