i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just blew my weed a kiss
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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