Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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