there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had to cum in my sink.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
