I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
