apparently the secret to your success is patron
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
