This girl is more easily done than said...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
