I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
