I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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