Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
