I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
