I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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