i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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