mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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