you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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