ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just forgot I was standing up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
