JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
