Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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