watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
