you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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