if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
