I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
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