You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
