I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
