I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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