You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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