i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize