Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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