just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
