he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My breath smells like gin and sadness
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
