My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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