What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
