"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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