I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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