anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
