i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
