Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize