he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
