i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dick very happy bro
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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