I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
