apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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