the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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