I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
