Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
