But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
