i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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