I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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