Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
