if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
